“His blood quickens at the lure of life-risk and the thrill of breathtaking, touch-and-go drama although he does not recognize the sensations as such.”
“Such tests are important for physical growth, mental growth, and improving our sense of self.”
You touched on something really important here. Some time ago (don’t ask me to remember when because, well, I’ve slept since then), I wrote an essay regarding our natural born instincts and how we have adapted those instincts over time.
For example: as women, since much of our instinct is built on making a suitable “nest” to raise our children, it has morphed from picking berries and soft leaves, to shopping for wall art, comforters and pillows.
For men, it’s gone from the oh so often lethal gladiator battles to football and soccer games in sports arenas. There’s a little bit of our natural instinct in everything which is just fascinating to me. I love picking out those little nuances of our behavior.
But for guys, the games and competition is more than just growth, it’s also practice. Like dogs when they play, it’s more than having fun, it’s practice, a way to hone their defensive skills.
So what I’m saying is, if you and your wife have a son and you want to have a Nerf battle with him (as a mom who has a boy, it’s pretty much inevitable, lol), just tell her it’s good practice 🤣 (I mean, you might be paying for your own funeral but at least you get a Nerf battle out of it right?)
Truth be told, knowing my wife? She might want to get in on that battle herself 😂
You are correct, though, these behaviors are born out of natural instincts intrinsic to our biology. Play is often a form of practice, and taking notes of the patterns of play your children exhibit and the ones that end up interesting them long term is something I've always believed parents should be doing so that they might better guide their progeny toward skills and careers which can both sustain and fulfill them. That said, discretion should, of course, be used in that.
I will say, though, there’s a fine line to walk between guiding and projecting. My son is 9 and wants to be an astronaut. Don’t get me wrong, as a space enthusiast, I’m over the moon about it, but he’s also only 9 and the odds of him actually becoming one are really slim. We encourage him every chance we get but I don’t want him caught up in it just to please us. That’s the difficult part. Finding just the right amount of encouragement without pushing too hard. And it’s not something anyone can really teach you either. Being a parent, you learn probably 90% of it on the job.
Appreciate the kind words bro - and glad helped provide some inspiration. I like how you wove in why a man's desire for adventure makes it something we like in our stories.
Thank you, sir. That bench press memory is one that's probably gonna stick with me to the day I die. Now I just need to get on it again to move my body back towards the skinny side 😂
Yes, boys and men need adventure. They need to expand their boundaries. For some it is gym visits, for some drugs.
Growing up in the country, I routinely walked miles and miles around the place. I've come across nature at its best and worst. I've come face to face with coyotes, wild dogs, and rattlers.
Once I left the country and lived in cities, I walked in neighborhoods where other people didn't want to walk.
By the way, congrats on upping your word count. That's awesome.
For my own adventures in those rural (by California standards) mountains, I also wandered out into the woods with my friends at times. At O'Shay's, we once snuck out the back of his house to a clearing he made in a treeline about half a mile from his house to meet with some girls. They never showed, and we got caught.
Later in life, when visiting my friend Heavy who I talk about with some regularity, we used to explore the expansice ruins of Fort Ord, a derelict Naval fort that was opened in WWII north of the Monterey Bay. They closed it in the 80's or 90's, and before it was fully reclaimed a few years ago, the fort had all sorts of relics and indicators of troops, gangs, and general vagrants who squatted there. Some were near, some were eerie, all were fascinating.
I saw and learned many things from all of these experiences, and part of that was the deepening bond I had with the friends I did these things with.
I do envy you the lifelong friends you have. I was, and am still, to an extent, a loner. I had one good friend, but he's been dead since for twenty years. Keep your friends and treasure them.
“Such tests are important for physical growth, mental growth, and improving our sense of self.”
You touched on something really important here. Some time ago (don’t ask me to remember when because, well, I’ve slept since then), I wrote an essay regarding our natural born instincts and how we have adapted those instincts over time.
For example: as women, since much of our instinct is built on making a suitable “nest” to raise our children, it has morphed from picking berries and soft leaves, to shopping for wall art, comforters and pillows.
For men, it’s gone from the oh so often lethal gladiator battles to football and soccer games in sports arenas. There’s a little bit of our natural instinct in everything which is just fascinating to me. I love picking out those little nuances of our behavior.
But for guys, the games and competition is more than just growth, it’s also practice. Like dogs when they play, it’s more than having fun, it’s practice, a way to hone their defensive skills.
So what I’m saying is, if you and your wife have a son and you want to have a Nerf battle with him (as a mom who has a boy, it’s pretty much inevitable, lol), just tell her it’s good practice 🤣 (I mean, you might be paying for your own funeral but at least you get a Nerf battle out of it right?)
Truth be told, knowing my wife? She might want to get in on that battle herself 😂
You are correct, though, these behaviors are born out of natural instincts intrinsic to our biology. Play is often a form of practice, and taking notes of the patterns of play your children exhibit and the ones that end up interesting them long term is something I've always believed parents should be doing so that they might better guide their progeny toward skills and careers which can both sustain and fulfill them. That said, discretion should, of course, be used in that.
Oh absolutely. It’s part of being a parent.
I will say, though, there’s a fine line to walk between guiding and projecting. My son is 9 and wants to be an astronaut. Don’t get me wrong, as a space enthusiast, I’m over the moon about it, but he’s also only 9 and the odds of him actually becoming one are really slim. We encourage him every chance we get but I don’t want him caught up in it just to please us. That’s the difficult part. Finding just the right amount of encouragement without pushing too hard. And it’s not something anyone can really teach you either. Being a parent, you learn probably 90% of it on the job.
Sorry, I’ll stop rambling now, lol.
Great essay!
Thank you kindly.
Haha love the bench-press story.
Appreciate the kind words bro - and glad helped provide some inspiration. I like how you wove in why a man's desire for adventure makes it something we like in our stories.
Thank you, sir. That bench press memory is one that's probably gonna stick with me to the day I die. Now I just need to get on it again to move my body back towards the skinny side 😂
Yes, boys and men need adventure. They need to expand their boundaries. For some it is gym visits, for some drugs.
Growing up in the country, I routinely walked miles and miles around the place. I've come across nature at its best and worst. I've come face to face with coyotes, wild dogs, and rattlers.
Once I left the country and lived in cities, I walked in neighborhoods where other people didn't want to walk.
By the way, congrats on upping your word count. That's awesome.
For my own adventures in those rural (by California standards) mountains, I also wandered out into the woods with my friends at times. At O'Shay's, we once snuck out the back of his house to a clearing he made in a treeline about half a mile from his house to meet with some girls. They never showed, and we got caught.
Later in life, when visiting my friend Heavy who I talk about with some regularity, we used to explore the expansice ruins of Fort Ord, a derelict Naval fort that was opened in WWII north of the Monterey Bay. They closed it in the 80's or 90's, and before it was fully reclaimed a few years ago, the fort had all sorts of relics and indicators of troops, gangs, and general vagrants who squatted there. Some were near, some were eerie, all were fascinating.
I saw and learned many things from all of these experiences, and part of that was the deepening bond I had with the friends I did these things with.
I do envy you the lifelong friends you have. I was, and am still, to an extent, a loner. I had one good friend, but he's been dead since for twenty years. Keep your friends and treasure them.