Like Joseph Wiess, I do particularly like the title Wolfmother she gained. I'd love to borrow that, with your permission of course, but I don't know how or when I'd use it.
I liked this part, and want to know why the Jarl wants her.
One thing I would like to say though, if you do not mind my mentioning it, is that the 'oh well' half way through about seemed out of place to me.
You could say "oh well, she thought to herself or said to herself." Imstead of removing it if I understand your meaning. I hope you didn't mind my brining that up.
I don't mind at all. If I couldn't take fair critique, I wouldn't be able to write as I do today. As for that line, I'm sure my thinking was somewhere along the lines of that being Gaiur's thoughts, but it's superfluous and interrupts the flow so it's best cut. Good catch.
It's all a matter of recognizing whether what's being said is meant to help you improve or not. If suggestions or pointers are given in good faith, usually in combination with pointing to what does work in a story, that's someone trying to give fair critique. If it's just a bunch of negativity that never touches on what works, chances are that's probably a hater.
I like how she has gained a title. "Wolfmother" sounds impressive, but then Varro is an impressive wolf.
Like Joseph Wiess, I do particularly like the title Wolfmother she gained. I'd love to borrow that, with your permission of course, but I don't know how or when I'd use it.
I liked this part, and want to know why the Jarl wants her.
One thing I would like to say though, if you do not mind my mentioning it, is that the 'oh well' half way through about seemed out of place to me.
That's a fair point. I'd forgotten I'd even included that line. Consider it axed. As for borrowing the Wolfmother title, that would be fine with me.
You could say "oh well, she thought to herself or said to herself." Imstead of removing it if I understand your meaning. I hope you didn't mind my brining that up.
I don't mind at all. If I couldn't take fair critique, I wouldn't be able to write as I do today. As for that line, I'm sure my thinking was somewhere along the lines of that being Gaiur's thoughts, but it's superfluous and interrupts the flow so it's best cut. Good catch.
I wish I could take critique better, but I am glad I could help!
It's all a matter of recognizing whether what's being said is meant to help you improve or not. If suggestions or pointers are given in good faith, usually in combination with pointing to what does work in a story, that's someone trying to give fair critique. If it's just a bunch of negativity that never touches on what works, chances are that's probably a hater.
Thanks.
Also, thanks, don't know what I'd do with it, but I like it.
Ah, I missed that last line, though I imagined that is why he wanted her, though how remains to be seen.