A superb display of perspective. From the crashed ship being a giant beetle, to the loading and firing of the gun, everything kept me grounded as Blackpaw. You really take great descriptive advantage of the third person perspective, but kept it close enough that I still got the stronger emotional POV of Blackpaw. Good show.
This has turned into something of an experimental challenge for me. While I've written in the perspectives of primitive men or beastly creatures before, it was always in brief, usually through cutaways to build tension or which acted as a lead-in to transition to a main character with a more traditional understanding that's easier to grasp. It's heartening to see that this challenge seems to be going well and that Blackpaw's view of the world and the things he feels in the moment are translating properly.
Now that I've had time to properly read this. I like it. A crashed rocket ship, the flintlock pistol, two bright inquisitive (I'm not going to call them beastmen) native hunters, and the beautiful damsel. Now, let's see what chapter 3 does.
Zeppelin isn't quite it, but the airship is close enough to one. The Blue-Jay was basically a flying boat held aloft by rotors and ornithopter-like wings.
Not quite a musket, but an old flintlock pistol. I tried to base the description off a historical replica I own without making it overt since neither brother would have any idea what it was.
I’m getting a kind of steampunk vibe with the wooden parts of the ship, and the gun, very nice!
This has been really cool to catch up on and read! Thanks for inviting me to the Sword & Saturdays!
I really like seeing someone adding dinosaurs to S&S, really something the genre (or any genre really) has been lacking!
A superb display of perspective. From the crashed ship being a giant beetle, to the loading and firing of the gun, everything kept me grounded as Blackpaw. You really take great descriptive advantage of the third person perspective, but kept it close enough that I still got the stronger emotional POV of Blackpaw. Good show.
This has turned into something of an experimental challenge for me. While I've written in the perspectives of primitive men or beastly creatures before, it was always in brief, usually through cutaways to build tension or which acted as a lead-in to transition to a main character with a more traditional understanding that's easier to grasp. It's heartening to see that this challenge seems to be going well and that Blackpaw's view of the world and the things he feels in the moment are translating properly.
Now that I've had time to properly read this. I like it. A crashed rocket ship, the flintlock pistol, two bright inquisitive (I'm not going to call them beastmen) native hunters, and the beautiful damsel. Now, let's see what chapter 3 does.
I keep visualizing that vessel as a big zeppelin! Great stuff :D
Zeppelin isn't quite it, but the airship is close enough to one. The Blue-Jay was basically a flying boat held aloft by rotors and ornithopter-like wings.
I suspected those long things were the zeppelin's rotors and the main construction blown to bits somewhere. Gotta re-read it this weekend.
Not quite a musket, but an old flintlock pistol. I tried to base the description off a historical replica I own without making it overt since neither brother would have any idea what it was.